There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize