Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
