Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
