Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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