And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
