I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
