my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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