If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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