I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
