i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
