I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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