I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we made out on top of his cat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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