and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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