Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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