to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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