forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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