I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
