he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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