3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
