Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
