You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
