Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
