North Korea, Best Korea!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
