Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
