brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
