Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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