I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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