GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
