i just had sex bonerless
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
