Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
