i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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