i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
