Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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