just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
