I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He shit in the fireplace
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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