He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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