i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize