In the future we'll all be gay
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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