Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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