i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
