Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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