I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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