At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
