I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
