Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
