ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
