Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize