the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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