I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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