porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
