she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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