I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
