I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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