Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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