My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it glows. i had to have it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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