maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
