So drunk, too bad you don't want this
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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