he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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