and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
