you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
