In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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