My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
