Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
