so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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