I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
