a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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