I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
